Youth is the best time to be rich, and the best time to be poor - Euripides

Hey Visitor,

So it's still April. I have made plenty of decisions this month. The biggest of them all was that I won't go to entrance exam in Helsinki. Even though studying Japanese is my dream, I was going crazy over stress that it caused me so I stopped. Now I realize that it wouldn't be even possible for me to read 24/7 b'coz we're moving to another apartment at the moment and it takes a lot time from me. (And by the way, my mom is like a maniac because of the moving >.<).

But you know, this will be my 12^th moving. Sounds a lot, hu? Yes, it's a lot and therefore I know how to move and how much time it takes and how stressful that can be also. Why are we moving then? The reason is that my mom wants to move cheaper and smaller apartment and I think that's a wise decision when thinking that I will move out next autumn and maybe my little sister will do it also this year so she will be all alone then (sad thought). Luckily she has a boyfriend and friends etc. :)

So after quitting reading to Helsinki, my changes are now Vaasa and Lund. I'm hoping so much that I could get in to Vaasa but I contacted one person who was studying Japanese there and she said that it's harder these days to get in b'coz there are more applicants :s My Final marks won't be so excellent so I should write amazing motivation letter then... Scary... I will start writing next week and luckily I have had some practise to write those before ;) So please, put your fingers crossed that I will get in to Vaasa! I will let you know in July (so looooong!!) did I get in or not.

There's this other thing also what stresses me! I should get a call from my employer (that berry seller job) but I haven't heard from him and now I'm afraid that he have forgotten me. Argh... Well, of course I don't have his phone number (coz my phone was broken when he called me that I'll get the job) so I guess I should just send him an email. Or maybe he'll call me soon... I really hope so! I need a job and money so he'd better call!!

Yeah, so welcome to my stressful life. But luckily after this move (which is this Friday) my life will go so much easier and I guess I won't complain so much to you then, so don't worry! Haha...

Yeah, but after this week it'll get a bit easier and I'll get back to you then! Hear ya!

~~ Cha

Great moments will be in your memory forever.

Hey Friend,

How are You? It's been a while since I've written. My life is very busy at the moment but I wanted to share my past weeks and thoughts. Did you know that I used to write almost every night my own stories and novels? Yeah, that's true and haste took my time with no mercy and now I miss writing so much. My silly dream is to become author. Write my own books and really make a living doing that but that's far from the reality. But now when my high school is finally over (I haven't graduated yet but I don't have any classes anymore ;) I have some time and I will definitely start writing again. So now you're asking how on earth I can have a busy life if I don't have classes to sit on? Well, I'll tell you all. I have 800 pages (500 pages are World's history from the very beginning and the book's name is “ The Human Web: A Bird's-Eye View of World History” and last 300 pages is Finnish grammar book) to read to my entrance exam to Helsinki and I have to learn them by heart. Hard, hu? It is and I'm panicking! I have just month and a half to learn them and I'm in trouble, but I'll try my best! I won't give up! So I've been at the library almost every day just reading and trying to change my lousy faith to fail in that huge exam. And of course this entrance exam is one obstacle between me and my Japanese studies in Finland. So even my belief that I'll do great in that exam has been a long time gone, I'll try.

Part from that I'll try to see my friends and my family. I never thought it could be harder than when I was in school, but it is. And I have big stress from my summer job! Like I told you in my last post I got a summer job and I still have it but something in back of my mind says: “don't trust that you have that job”. This is so frustrating! Maybe I should email them... I'm too paranoid! Maybe I should relax a bit! Ha ha!

I also made a promise to help Japan somehow and the day before the yesterday I donated little money to people who raised money for Japan. It was so sweet! There were like 4 or more Japanese people and they were raising the money. So I went and put some money to their box with one of my friend and they were so delighted! They gave us a sticker and handmade origami which was crane n__n (sadly I hadn't time to take picture from it but it was so sweet!). It made me so happy to see that they came so happy :) I love the Japanese's spirit!

Well, like you also know, I was in London like a week ago. I was with my friend and neither of us hadn't been abroad without grown-up supervision before but our trip went perfectly! We hadn't had any problems along the road (EasyJet and EasyBus were perfect for budget traveling) and everything went so smoothly that I was surprised how well things went! I loved London because of the stores (great place to shop!!) and because the city feels like alive. It almost never sleeps and I like it. I also liked the architecture and Chinatown was so adorable! Haha, can I say it was adorable? And the WEATHER! Omg! It was so sunny and warm and sunny and warm and WARM! It didn't rain at all when we were there and I already forgot that snow even exist. But sadly when we came back to Finland, there was snow everywhere and I was skating on the ice with my teeny weeny ballerinas. Great! It was like stepping to freezer after London's perfect spring weather. Finland had still winter and still have, sadly...

So, thing I didn't like so much in London were that every restaurant they didn't ask do we want our bill to be pay together or as a separate. Okay, I know it's not a big deal but in Finland that is always be asked and that bothered me b'coz we always wanted to pay separate and we got this one bill... I didn't like the fact that all London people just went in traffic lights like bunch of maniacs! Pedestrians were the worst ones! They didn't wait for green light but they went when the car was far enough (okay, this might sound like nitpicking but hey really! Come on! I don't have that hurry that I couldn't wait for a minute light to change...). And maybe our timetable was a bit stressing too coz it's hard to see everything in 4-3 days but I think we did pretty good job. We saw almost all important sights, like Big Ben, Westminister Abbey (where will be the royal wedding this month!), London Eye, Buckingham's palace, Chinatown, Oxford Street (haha!), British museum and lots of more! I loved London's parks 'coz they were kinda opposite to London's traffic and busy lifestyle. So even London was a great city, it wasn't my number 1 in my list. Some places in Holland won, but of course, you must see London at least once in your life and I'm surely going back! Next time I will be longer and be in parks much more and maybe more shopping too (even though I had 5kg more in my suitcase when I left London) ;) I'll add couple of pictures to this post from my trip, hope you enjoy!

Buckingham's palace

The red telephone box!

I saw my dream castle in one park we were at! I guess it was a mosque or synagogue or something...

The London Eye (and we also were like next to it but those pics aren't so great :P)

The famous Big Ben

Harrods - so big that we didn't even find all places there!

And the Piccadilly circus which is called to be London's Time Square (which is in New York)

I got also my points from my Finals and I did OK. They didn't went as good as I hoped for but at least they won't ruin my opportunity to go to Scotland to study if I don't get in any places in Finland where I can study Japanese. But I should wait for final results before celebrating! But I think I'll end for now, 'coz I'll have early waking in the morning. Library calls again! Take care people and I'll write soon again!

~~ Cha

One day it's heaven, one day it's hell...

Hey Pal,

Horrible things have happened since I've been writing here. A big tragedy has encounter Japan LINK. I was shocked when I heard and immediately emailed my pen pal who's Japanese. She's okey but also shocked and I can't blame her! Earth quake, tsunami and power plant explosions; all at the same time. Terrible! I'll pray for them and hope that their misfortune will turn to fortune. I would love to help them somehow and I'm going to find a way to do so too. But I will start by writing a letter to my pen pal, hope she can have other things to think about and have a smile on her face again!

At the same time when these terrible things were happening in Japan I got delighted news. Now I can turn that magazine selling job down b'coz I got much better job with good salary comparing to that magazine job (and no, it's not that waitress coz I didn't get that) . I'll go sell berries (strawberries, peas etc.) to people and I can be outside also and actually MEET different kind of persons! That will start in May and last end of the August. It's great and I'm so happy about it. I sent a application for over 20 places and more would've come but luckily I don't need to think about that anymore and I can focus on other things.

My Finals also started again today with Finnish. I don't have any clue how it went but I won't think about it anymore, just wait for results. Then on Friday I'll have my English Final part 2. My English and German hearings didn't went perfectly but I heard that they were hard all over the Finland so that comforts me, hehe ^^'' And my part 1 Finnish went a lot better than I thought so let's see what grades I'm getting...

And yeah, disappointing news; I didn't get in to Edinburgh to study Japanese. Yeah... Sad. But I found a program from Swedish university of Lund! :) I'll apply there also and it's great coz I already speak Swedish as well (b'coz I have to coz it's second official language of Finland). So I'm not giving up, Japanese – here I come!

I gotta go now. Hope you have a great week and I wish all strength to Japan! I'll update my blog next time after my London trip which I'll do next week – or earlier if I don't have anything else to do. And at the end of my post I would like to share with you guys Ayaka's beautiful song which makes me feel like home wherever I am.

~~ Cha

It's hard to fit in when they don't understand so much behind these eyes

Hey Dreamer,

I'm so glad to tell you that I have had two summer job interviews! The first is saleswoman (who sells magazines over the phone, so phone girl ;) haha!) and this job I already got. It starts on April as a part-timer but this is not my dream job at all... I'm not totally sure can I sell magazines over the phone but we'll see! The second is waitress and I would love to have this job! I know that many people wouldn't dream to become a waitress but I would love to have that experience. I know that job is hard physically but I would be so ready for it! But let's see, I have that interview on next Wednesday, wish me luck!

I hate that it's so hard to find a summer job here in Finland nowadays. My mother tells me all the time when she was my age she just walked in the store or whatever and said “I'm coming to work with you” and that's it. Now you have to start your search late of December or beginning of January to get it going and really be active if you wanna find something. Well, I have really been active this year's search; I've already applied for 25 jobs! And more it's coming when I have strength enough to put some more applications... It's tiring.

One person who read my post “And my passion is...” got me thinking about my future job. As you know I would want my job to be maybe in Japan and that would include Japanese, naturally. I'm not worried that I wouldn't find a job (I'm never worry about can I get a job with this occupation coz I want to study what I want and it doesn't matter to me if the job places are hard to find.) but I'm worried that I'm not be accepted to study Japanese! That is my greatest fear at the moment. What would I do then?

It would be hard to deal with but I guess I would accept the place in Scotland... I would go to study English and German which isn't bad option at all but not my number 1- option. But after the year, I would apply to study Japanese again. Yep, that I would do. But I hope that this won't go this far... I would love to be accepted to study Japanese in the year 2011 :) I cross my fingers that my dream would come true!

Is this dream so weird then? Study Japanese. I have thought about that too... My lovely psychology teacher was amazed when I told her that I'm going to apply to study Japanese. She said that in her days people chose occupation as layers or doctors but they never even thought about those "strange languages". Also my interviewer (for that saleswoman job) was a bit amazed about my job choice. I saw on his face that he didn't except anything like that but maybe something to do with business. Haha, well I'm kinda glad that I'm not want to study anything “normal”, which are good occupations too, don't get me wrong! It's nice to say “I'm applying to study Japanese.” It's different here and it gives people something to think about.

But searching for a job sucks. I'm just hoping that I won't be jobless so long after I graduate some great year in the future! It's so stressing... And the fact that I should read also to my Finals at the same time doesn't make it any better... On Monday I will go to my school to watch what I got from my hearings (in Finland languages has 2 part in Finals; hearing part and the written part) so let's see how I did and do I have any chances to do great ;) So this was job-oriented post this time!

So have a great weekend and see you maybe next week! I'll tell you how my interview went and do I have any hopes for do good in my Finals! See ya!

~~ Cha

Make me a story book and write me away from here, I need a different ”now”...

Hello the one who's reading this,

Yep, I'm kinda hooked to this blogging now. I guess you can't see that bcoz I'm not updating my page so often but I am. I just want to update my page all the time – even the times when I don't have any reasonable to say and I stalk other people blogs (usually Japan-based blogs) if they have written something interesting – usually they haven't written at all... But I guess when this is the 5^th post of mine, it's time to reveal the real meaning to this blog. My hidden motive to write this blog.

My friends. I haven't told about this blog to anyone I know and I will keep it on my own until next autumn. If I leave them next autumn (if I get in to a university somewhere else than I live now) I will give this blog to them as an “departure gift”. I just hope that my English is clear enough ;D

My goal is that people would understand then what I'm going through in my little head and why I want to move from my home city away from them. It's not gonna be easy for me either but I want to chase my dreams – and yeah maybe I'm too much a dreamer but this is me. A dreaming girl who's gonna make everything that she can to achieve something she wants. I've decided a long time ago to leave my city when I'll have the opportunity and I tried to do that already at the age of 16 when I applied to United World College- program (which would have lasted 2 years, so I would've finished my high school abroad, http://www.uwc.org/) without getting in (which is extremely hard bcoz many young apply because that is huge possibility!) I was down a long after that – never showing that to anyone though – and I still am. I would've wanted to experience that and I give a high credit for those who got in! But I'm glad that I even tried to get in to that program even my friends or my family weren't so happy about the fact that I would leave them... But now I have to do it after high school. I have to, otherwise I will be in my home town when I'm 90 and I couldn't bare it. I need to leave – if I just got an opportunity to do so.

So, nothing new from Scotland or other studies. My reading holiday started and I'm starting to read to my Finals on Wednesday (today I have searched a summer job and I was with my friend) and tomorrow I will write letters to my friends around the world. I have so much to tell! I got a birthday card from my Japanese pen pal today and there was a little heart-origami also! It was so sweet and I will answer to her right away. My birthday went altogether well. I didn't get much of presents but that was bcoz I said to all that I don't need anything, 19 isn't so special age and I don't like that people give me presents... I just like to give them, hehe. I got from my best friend a text which said that she supports me on my decisions and she knows that it's impossible to turn my mind around. And she's right and sweet and I love her for doing that! That was the best present I got :) I just want that people understand that even if I leave the place it doesn't mean that I leave the people. And I said that also in our celebration meal last Thursday where were lots of my friends and they seemed to get it but still I got a feeling that they don't understand how deeply I care about them and even if I would get trillions of new friends they are important to me as well.

But that is enough from that topic, let's talk about FOOD! I was in that Japanese restaurant with my friend and I finally tried something new! I usually eat Oyako Donburi (which is still my favorite!) but now I tried Kushikatsu which was delicious! And I have a picture from that dish to awake your appetite ;)

It's like a kebab but with a Japanese twist. My kushikatsu was filled with pork and sweet onions which was great! I usually hate onion but Japanese onion (haha, don't know what onion that is!) is so delicious, not bitter at all.

So, the February is drawing to a close and I can't wait March to come! I'll have my finals in that month and also my long-waited London trip with my friend! I will definitely shop till I drop ;)

Take care people and remember; even if your friend isn't near you it doesn't mean that she/he won't remember you and think about you. You are always important to even someone.

~~ Cha

Happy Valentine's day!

This is going to be short post but I just wanted to wish YOU happy Valentine's day! In Finland it's also friends' celebration and I will always remember my friends on this day. Love you guys!

~~ Cha

And my passion is...

Hey Stranger,

How are you? It's February and I'm still writing this. That's kinda surprise but I'm not stopping! So what's happening in my life? A lot, a lot, a lot! The first thing is that my Finals have started – finally! I guess I'm the only one who's waiting Finals to start, haha. That's only because I want them to end so when they start they will also end, got me? But it's kinda stressing too bcoz I need to read and I don't want to. I'm lazy! But luckily I have just Finnish, German and English finals, maybe I can survive ;)

BUT, the HUGE thing is this: I got an answer from university of Aberdeen! From Scotland! If I'll get M as an average mark of my report they'll accept me. If I didn't blow completely my Finnish part ein up last Friday, I'm kinda sure I will achieve that. So one university is almost sure! But the only bad side of this is that I would LOVE to study Japanese! My passion! That language is so intriguing that I just have to learn it and I have tried to learn it! These degrees that Aberdeen offers me are English and English + German. Like you see I love languages, BUT that Japanese! Ash, I just hope I could go to study Japanese somewhere and yes, I have applied to read it to Edinburgh and I'm going to apply to Helsinki and Vaasa. I just hope that one of them would accept me and I would say 'yes' right away!

So why Japanese? I got excited about that the language when I was in junior high school then in high school anime, manga and Japanese music and drama came along. Nowadays I just watch j-drama and try to study Japanese. But I have ulterior motive to study Japanese. Furthermore that I love that language and that very different culture from ours, I would love to become stewardess. And bad for me, I'm too short to Western airlines so I'll keep my hopes up that I could be accepted to Asian airlines but you never no. And if this “little” dream don't work out I will be super delighted that I learnt Japanese! And even if I couldn't fulfill my dream I will still learn Japanese.

Yep, Japanese is my passion and what I want to do in the future. I just hope that it will work out and I will work for it! And I wouldn't mind to live in Tokyo or Kyoto some beautiful day ;) I'm not afraid to step out from my comfort zones and live in different culture and be a little less Finnish. That is what I seek; different kind of culture and I'm infatuated to Japanese culture.

So maybe 5 years from now I will see Tokyo's skyscrapers or Kyoto's cherry blossoms and truly SPEAK with Japanese people. And that I can always practise with my two Japanese friend :)

Sayonara! (and maybe soon I'll remember also hiraganas and katakanas ;)

P.S. My next week will be busy, busy, busy! I'll have two hearings (English and German), Sex and the City- evening with my girlfriends, penkkarit (I told you about that event last post) and my birthday! 19 already! I just can't understand where the time went, but I won't complain ;) And yeah, Japanese food is waiting me on Tuesday bcoz I'm going to dine to Japanese restaurant with one of my best friends. Yammy!

Something is happening in my life - finally!

Hey you,

It's been a while since I've written here and I guess I was about to quit. But no, I won't let that happen! Carpe Diem is now part of my life and it's kinda my diary too.

So, year 2011 has started fastly. I did go to party with my friends a week after the New Year and my upcoming year is tempting and I just can't wait what this spring brings! I'm going with my girlfriends to this cruise with Silja Line and I'm not so fan being a boat bcoz I did that pretty much when I was a kid, but maybe this time it will be a blast! Friends will save the whole trip ;)

And of course because I'm Finnish and senior we have this “penkinpainajaiset aka. Penkkarit” soon which is celebrated bcoz seniors end their school that day! That will be huge thing and we all get dressed up with a theme (which in my school is traveling) and we will have this big show for second and first graders and at the same time for teachers. After that we'll go to dive with these big trucks and we throw candy to people and so on... Huge thing to seniors in February then! But yeah, including this I'm waiting my London trip which I'm going to do in March. Shopping, shopping and shopping! And maybe Big Ben ;D

I'm going to turn 19 also in February so I'll have full early year, but I'm not complaining! I have just realized that I do have a life and I do have a great future if I'm just willing to do things that support it. And why I'm thinking about this? Well, last summer when I was in Holland I met this great guy who's my friend nowadays. We always talked stuff, like things that I don't speak with no one else and he asked me in email: “Are you still bored with people around you?”. That is why I thought about this guestion. I knew the answer immediately; no, no I am not, coz I love them very much and I don't maybe have so much time with them if I'm leaving them in autumn... And when I'm thinking about it, I wasn't so bored with people last summer, I was bored the surroundings, the same streets and buildings and yeah... some faces too I guess. But now I see everything differently, what if I can't see these people or these streets soon for a year? What then? So, I decided to be as much as possible with my people and watch these buildings and streets until I'll bored to death. I love them even though I want to leave them. But not for eternity – just for a while.

xoxo

~~ Cha