It's hard to fit in when they don't understand so much behind these eyes

Hey Dreamer,

I'm so glad to tell you that I have had two summer job interviews! The first is saleswoman (who sells magazines over the phone, so phone girl ;) haha!) and this job I already got. It starts on April as a part-timer but this is not my dream job at all... I'm not totally sure can I sell magazines over the phone but we'll see! The second is waitress and I would love to have this job! I know that many people wouldn't dream to become a waitress but I would love to have that experience. I know that job is hard physically but I would be so ready for it! But let's see, I have that interview on next Wednesday, wish me luck!

I hate that it's so hard to find a summer job here in Finland nowadays. My mother tells me all the time when she was my age she just walked in the store or whatever and said “I'm coming to work with you” and that's it. Now you have to start your search late of December or beginning of January to get it going and really be active if you wanna find something. Well, I have really been active this year's search; I've already applied for 25 jobs! And more it's coming when I have strength enough to put some more applications... It's tiring.

One person who read my post “And my passion is...” got me thinking about my future job. As you know I would want my job to be maybe in Japan and that would include Japanese, naturally. I'm not worried that I wouldn't find a job (I'm never worry about can I get a job with this occupation coz I want to study what I want and it doesn't matter to me if the job places are hard to find.) but I'm worried that I'm not be accepted to study Japanese! That is my greatest fear at the moment. What would I do then?

It would be hard to deal with but I guess I would accept the place in Scotland... I would go to study English and German which isn't bad option at all but not my number 1- option. But after the year, I would apply to study Japanese again. Yep, that I would do. But I hope that this won't go this far... I would love to be accepted to study Japanese in the year 2011 :) I cross my fingers that my dream would come true!

Is this dream so weird then? Study Japanese. I have thought about that too... My lovely psychology teacher was amazed when I told her that I'm going to apply to study Japanese. She said that in her days people chose occupation as layers or doctors but they never even thought about those "strange languages". Also my interviewer (for that saleswoman job) was a bit amazed about my job choice. I saw on his face that he didn't except anything like that but maybe something to do with business. Haha, well I'm kinda glad that I'm not want to study anything “normal”, which are good occupations too, don't get me wrong! It's nice to say “I'm applying to study Japanese.” It's different here and it gives people something to think about.

But searching for a job sucks. I'm just hoping that I won't be jobless so long after I graduate some great year in the future! It's so stressing... And the fact that I should read also to my Finals at the same time doesn't make it any better... On Monday I will go to my school to watch what I got from my hearings (in Finland languages has 2 part in Finals; hearing part and the written part) so let's see how I did and do I have any chances to do great ;) So this was job-oriented post this time!

So have a great weekend and see you maybe next week! I'll tell you how my interview went and do I have any hopes for do good in my Finals! See ya!

~~ Cha

Make me a story book and write me away from here, I need a different ”now”...

Hello the one who's reading this,

Yep, I'm kinda hooked to this blogging now. I guess you can't see that bcoz I'm not updating my page so often but I am. I just want to update my page all the time – even the times when I don't have any reasonable to say and I stalk other people blogs (usually Japan-based blogs) if they have written something interesting – usually they haven't written at all... But I guess when this is the 5^th post of mine, it's time to reveal the real meaning to this blog. My hidden motive to write this blog.

My friends. I haven't told about this blog to anyone I know and I will keep it on my own until next autumn. If I leave them next autumn (if I get in to a university somewhere else than I live now) I will give this blog to them as an “departure gift”. I just hope that my English is clear enough ;D

My goal is that people would understand then what I'm going through in my little head and why I want to move from my home city away from them. It's not gonna be easy for me either but I want to chase my dreams – and yeah maybe I'm too much a dreamer but this is me. A dreaming girl who's gonna make everything that she can to achieve something she wants. I've decided a long time ago to leave my city when I'll have the opportunity and I tried to do that already at the age of 16 when I applied to United World College- program (which would have lasted 2 years, so I would've finished my high school abroad, http://www.uwc.org/) without getting in (which is extremely hard bcoz many young apply because that is huge possibility!) I was down a long after that – never showing that to anyone though – and I still am. I would've wanted to experience that and I give a high credit for those who got in! But I'm glad that I even tried to get in to that program even my friends or my family weren't so happy about the fact that I would leave them... But now I have to do it after high school. I have to, otherwise I will be in my home town when I'm 90 and I couldn't bare it. I need to leave – if I just got an opportunity to do so.

So, nothing new from Scotland or other studies. My reading holiday started and I'm starting to read to my Finals on Wednesday (today I have searched a summer job and I was with my friend) and tomorrow I will write letters to my friends around the world. I have so much to tell! I got a birthday card from my Japanese pen pal today and there was a little heart-origami also! It was so sweet and I will answer to her right away. My birthday went altogether well. I didn't get much of presents but that was bcoz I said to all that I don't need anything, 19 isn't so special age and I don't like that people give me presents... I just like to give them, hehe. I got from my best friend a text which said that she supports me on my decisions and she knows that it's impossible to turn my mind around. And she's right and sweet and I love her for doing that! That was the best present I got :) I just want that people understand that even if I leave the place it doesn't mean that I leave the people. And I said that also in our celebration meal last Thursday where were lots of my friends and they seemed to get it but still I got a feeling that they don't understand how deeply I care about them and even if I would get trillions of new friends they are important to me as well.

But that is enough from that topic, let's talk about FOOD! I was in that Japanese restaurant with my friend and I finally tried something new! I usually eat Oyako Donburi (which is still my favorite!) but now I tried Kushikatsu which was delicious! And I have a picture from that dish to awake your appetite ;)

It's like a kebab but with a Japanese twist. My kushikatsu was filled with pork and sweet onions which was great! I usually hate onion but Japanese onion (haha, don't know what onion that is!) is so delicious, not bitter at all.

So, the February is drawing to a close and I can't wait March to come! I'll have my finals in that month and also my long-waited London trip with my friend! I will definitely shop till I drop ;)

Take care people and remember; even if your friend isn't near you it doesn't mean that she/he won't remember you and think about you. You are always important to even someone.

~~ Cha

Happy Valentine's day!

This is going to be short post but I just wanted to wish YOU happy Valentine's day! In Finland it's also friends' celebration and I will always remember my friends on this day. Love you guys!

~~ Cha

And my passion is...

Hey Stranger,

How are you? It's February and I'm still writing this. That's kinda surprise but I'm not stopping! So what's happening in my life? A lot, a lot, a lot! The first thing is that my Finals have started – finally! I guess I'm the only one who's waiting Finals to start, haha. That's only because I want them to end so when they start they will also end, got me? But it's kinda stressing too bcoz I need to read and I don't want to. I'm lazy! But luckily I have just Finnish, German and English finals, maybe I can survive ;)

BUT, the HUGE thing is this: I got an answer from university of Aberdeen! From Scotland! If I'll get M as an average mark of my report they'll accept me. If I didn't blow completely my Finnish part ein up last Friday, I'm kinda sure I will achieve that. So one university is almost sure! But the only bad side of this is that I would LOVE to study Japanese! My passion! That language is so intriguing that I just have to learn it and I have tried to learn it! These degrees that Aberdeen offers me are English and English + German. Like you see I love languages, BUT that Japanese! Ash, I just hope I could go to study Japanese somewhere and yes, I have applied to read it to Edinburgh and I'm going to apply to Helsinki and Vaasa. I just hope that one of them would accept me and I would say 'yes' right away!

So why Japanese? I got excited about that the language when I was in junior high school then in high school anime, manga and Japanese music and drama came along. Nowadays I just watch j-drama and try to study Japanese. But I have ulterior motive to study Japanese. Furthermore that I love that language and that very different culture from ours, I would love to become stewardess. And bad for me, I'm too short to Western airlines so I'll keep my hopes up that I could be accepted to Asian airlines but you never no. And if this “little” dream don't work out I will be super delighted that I learnt Japanese! And even if I couldn't fulfill my dream I will still learn Japanese.

Yep, Japanese is my passion and what I want to do in the future. I just hope that it will work out and I will work for it! And I wouldn't mind to live in Tokyo or Kyoto some beautiful day ;) I'm not afraid to step out from my comfort zones and live in different culture and be a little less Finnish. That is what I seek; different kind of culture and I'm infatuated to Japanese culture.

So maybe 5 years from now I will see Tokyo's skyscrapers or Kyoto's cherry blossoms and truly SPEAK with Japanese people. And that I can always practise with my two Japanese friend :)

Sayonara! (and maybe soon I'll remember also hiraganas and katakanas ;)

P.S. My next week will be busy, busy, busy! I'll have two hearings (English and German), Sex and the City- evening with my girlfriends, penkkarit (I told you about that event last post) and my birthday! 19 already! I just can't understand where the time went, but I won't complain ;) And yeah, Japanese food is waiting me on Tuesday bcoz I'm going to dine to Japanese restaurant with one of my best friends. Yammy!